I’m at my desk, feeling tired and unable to get started on my work. I know I got plenty of sleep the night before, hadn’t stuffed my face with bad food and I had my coffee but I couldn’t get myself working. My head was spinning with fears and negativity from a few interactions I just had with some coworkers. But at the time I wasn’t aware that my energy, emotion and mental clarity had been blocked. I was in it at that moment and all I knew was I couldn’t focus on my work.
I had just had a honest talk face to face with a coworker and this individual and I didn’t mingle very well. It had been going on all week and now I was being forced into doing something, by my boss, that I didn’t enjoy and thought was a little embarrassing (nothing rude or illegal but I just felt silly doing it).
I felt unloved from my coworkers and the people around me at the time. It seemed everything that could go wrong was happening that day and now I had to help a coworker who I didn’t get along with.
As I’m at my desk trying to get my work done I realize it just isn’t happening. My head is spinning with fears and negativity and I’m now on an angry emotional spiral.
Has this ever happened to you? Something similar, where you had an argument with someone or you just feel unloved at the time? Ever try and do work at that time? You probably aren’t the productive beast you know yourself to be in that moment.
“The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity.” – Tom Peters
There’s a process to get through this and I learned it after interviewing Satori Mateu at Experts Academy seminar a few months ago. He was incredibly insightful on breaking past emotional pitfalls and especially ones that stop us from being the most productive we can. Here is the process he explained to me and the reasoning behind it.
When you aren’t being as productive as you know yourself to be and have negative self talk going on this is known as an emotional block caused by feeling unloved and having fears and negativity rule your thought process. Your best energy is consumed in angry thinking that is distracting you which stops you from focusing and getting your work done.
In order to get past that and start kicking ass you need to release that emotion and feel loved again.
When you don’t feel loved your mind is preoccupied with fears, worry and self doubt. When this happens your self worth isn’t where it needs to be.
You become distracted, less productive and less effective because your fears are consuming and emotionally crippling you.
Introducing the first step to get past that emotional block and get to feeling loved again…
1) Tell the truth about a flaw you have
Before we get into the first step, in order to feel loved you have to trust that you are loved. Trust is confidence.
- You trust people like you = confidence.
- You trust you are capable = confidence.
- You trust you are loved = feeling of self worth.
You first have to trust you are loved. No matter the circumstance you can find a way to feel loved by really looking for it, being grateful for what you have and trusting it.
The first step to get past that emotional block is to share a weakness, lie or flaw that you have to someone you trust.
For example, something you have done to someone that has not been caring or loving, maybe something you have been using to manipulate someone else with. It could also be a mistake you made as well.
You want to share some weakness or flaw because when you try to hide that it takes a lot of energy which saps your productivity.
2) Share it with someone you trust
When you go to share that lie, flaw or weakness you want to share it with someone who you trust, that will listen to you and cares about you.
What this does is allows you to feel seen. When you are seen then you have nothing to hide which allows your energy to flow freely. When you allow others to see you then you have an opportunity to feel appreciated and embraced by them. When you feel appreciated and embraced then you will feel loved.
3) You now have the opportunity to feel loved
(This is more like phase 3 of the process because it’s not necessarily a step but it’s the third and final pillar to breaking free of the emotional block)
Now that you are being filled with love and appreciation then you will feel energized. When you are seen and embrace both your positive and negative qualities without judgement or feeling shamed about them, it will literally energize you because you won’t be lost in your own negative thoughts that stop you from being productive.
When that negative self talk is going on you then are distracted, fearful and instead of being seen you are running around trying to avoid people not liking you or looking for appreciation for something you do so people will like you. All those fears get in the way and stop you from being productive because you feel you aren’t good enough so you look to achieve something to feel loved.
You’re busy doing all this stuff but when you feel loved you are at peace. Your mind is quiet, you’re relaxed and then capable of getting your work done. You have a feeling of certainty and confidence that you can do what you need to do without worry.
Be seen and let the love wash over you!
Leave a comment about your thoughts on being seen and breaking through emotional pitfalls.
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